Overexposure to screens upsets the family balance. Between loss of attention, disturbed sleep and tensions at home, the warning signs are multiplying. Taking back control begins with the example of parents.
Smartphones, video games… Screens have become a product that we consume every day. Parents can then lose control of their children or teenagers. Here’s how to prevent this danger and what to do if it happens anyway.
“The price we pay is the exhaustion of our attentional capacities,” explains Sabine Duflo, clinical psychologist and family therapist, screen specialist, founder of the “screen overexposure” (CoSE) collective. When screens take up too much space in a child’s life, many parents have the same impression: “We lost our child.” To avoid getting to that point, the parent must first look in the mirror.
The key role of parents
Indeed, “90% of education is done through imitation”, recalls the psychologist. “ A child only accepts a rule if the adult is capable of applying it to himself. ” The question is therefore simple, are the parents really available when the child is there? Because everything a child must build – language, self-confidence, sociability – develops in relationships and family exchanges. “ If the adult is often interrupted by their telephone, these moments of exchange do not take place or are done poorly. ”
Signs that should alert
As with an addiction, certain behaviors appear gradually:
- the child loses interest in other activities (sport, family, school);
- shared moments lose their interest;
- he becomes more nervous or aggressive;
- he has difficulty concentrating;
- sleep deteriorates.
“Simple requests like coming to eat or going to shower suddenly become very difficult to accept,” describes Sabine Duflo. “ And it can go very quickly. ”
Content designed to hook
If screens are so difficult to regulate, it is also because a lot of content is designed to capture attention. Free online video games, social networks or very short videos are based on random reward systems, comparable to those of slot machines. “These mechanisms send very powerful flows of dopamine to the brain,” she explains.
Taking back control at home
To prevent screens from taking over, the psychologist recommends simple rules, applied by the whole family:
- no screen in the morning;
- no screen during meals;
- no screen in the room;
- all screens off 30 minutes before bed.
Another piece of advice: favor content with a beginning and an end (films, paid games) rather than free platforms or games which work without limits and are full of random rewards.
A difficult struggle for parents
When the use of screens is already very established, especially during adolescence, the situation can become difficult. “Parents are neither stupid nor incompetent. They are simply trying to fight against the behavioral addictions caused by these free apps”, insists Sabine Duflo. Because behind the screens there are also economic models based on capturing attention. And sometimes, regaining control starts with a simple gesture: recreating screen-free moments for the whole family.
To find out more, consult the link to Sabine Duflo’s Addiction Ados Écrans consultation.
